I started radiation 2 1/2 weeks ago... Right now, the only side effect is extreme exhaustion with a slight burning sensation all the time in my neck. 4 weeks left to go... and then back to a normal life if you can call it that.
My biggest issue is not the cancer or the treatments. It is the constant feelings of being used by my kids. I am the only one working and that is only part time. They seem to think that I have no right to be upset when I come home day after day and nothing is done at the house. Nothing has moved or been put away. Dirty dishes and garbage is piled all over. I get so frustrated and just go to my room because I am tired of asking for things to be done. Tonight I was informed that I am ungrateful for everything they do for me... as if that is much. I ask and ask for things to be done and days and weeks later it is still not done. I do what I can and sometimes more than I should including cutting down trees that I asked to have done and lawn mowed...
I know that I am not perfect and that there are things I need to improve on, but I don't believe I have unreasonable expectations. I don't believe that I should have to work and come home and have to be the one to do the dishes, take out the trash, pick up the garbage off the floor and counters, etc. Is it so awful that I expect them to get up off their lazy rears and do something besides sit in front of the tv and play games?
I was informed tonight that not only am I ungrateful but that I was probably the worst mother in the world... Oh well, I did the best I could and that was all I could do.
