Back to work...

1st day back at work. I've been here for half a shift (5 hrs) and am in desperate need of a nap...Back hurts, shoulder hurts, and just don't feel very well. I think I will stay for another hour or so and then head home.

Day 1 of Chemo

Day 1 of chemo yesterday...blood work at 11:20 then time to kill until 1:30 except the moved the chemo up to 11:30...only problem is that my arm and hand are swollen and so they were worried about a blood clot so they wanted an ultrasound of my shoulder and arm before the chemo. Couldn't do an ultrasound until 5 pm so started chemo at 3:30. Ultrasound finished at 6 pm. Stop and get prescriptions. Finally home at around 8 pm. Very tired...but things are moving in the getting better direction which makes me happy.


Visit with the surgeon today...Cleared to go back to work as I am able and as I desire... Yeah! Just have to figure out what to do with the grandson between school dismissal and when his mom gets off work. (Of course, that is assuming that I can last a whole 10 hrs at work.)

Awake...can't sleep

Awake at 0430...That's not unusual, but I am a little worried about today. Today is the first day of chemo. I cheated last night and had a shower which I was not supposed to do...Had a porta cath put in on Monday but was not supposed to get it wet, but couldn't stand the tape any longer. All I could do was itch. When I took it off my skin was very red.

Anyhow, as much as I have read and looked up on the internet, I am uncertain exactly what is going to happen today. It'll probably be okay...just nerves.

Wish I had enough money to get my phone turned back on. If only the disability checks would come in the mail...that would help so much.

0827...and to top it off, my hand, arm, and shoulder are swollen...

News spreads!

I can't believe how fast news spreads...I picked up Kevin, my 6 year old grandson, from school last week and one of the teachers that I've know for years came up to me and gave me a hug and told me that she was praying for me. Same thing at the store today...I saw 5 people that I knew and they all wondered how I was.

It doesn't bother me that people know. I don't like being the center of attention, but it is nice to know how many friends I really have out there, and I can use all the prayers I can get.

The power of prayer is amazing! I am so filled with emotion when I think about how much my Savior loves me. No matter what, I know that His will is going to be fulfilled in this and I will love Him all the same, no matter the outcome.

Finally...answers!

Okay, for those of you who have been waiting...I saw the oncologist today and finally have some answers. I have Stage 3C breast cancer. (Stage 4 is incurable and I am as close as you can get without being Stage 4.) I will start chemo next Wednesday and it will last for 4 months. After that, I will begin radiation therapy. It is unknown how long that will last at this point. It's a blessing that I have so many friends and family that are praying for and supporting me. I am truly blessed.

Frustration

Pretty frustrated with the whole trying to get my port put in for the chemotherapy. The surgeons office called last week and they told me that they could do it on Tuesday. I told them that I needed to wait (per the oncologist) until after Wednesday this week. They called again on Wednesday and Thursday. I told them that I can have it done after this Wednesday and so they scheduled me for Thursday of last week even though I said, "that's Thursday next week, correct?" and she said yes. Sp on Wednesday the surgery center called me to tell me what time have to be there for the procedure on last Thursday. Again, I told them that I had to wait until this Thursday. So yesterday, I called to make sure I was scheduled for the procedure on Thursday...Guess what...I was told that they do not do surgery on Thursday.  I think I will take my cordless phone and strangle someone...

Disappointment...

So I saw the oncologist yesterday...I was very disappointed that he didn't have all of the pathology reports. I even called both of my doctors and asked if they had faxed everything. They both told me yes...alas, Dr. Manning only had the report from the first surgery until right before he walked in the door. He was ready to come in and tell me that I needed more surgery because there were no "clean edges" on the first surgery and then he was handed the report from the second surgery.

Here's what we know...Estrogen positive which means the cancer spreads quicker if estrogen is produced so they will have to give medication to block that. Because of the lack of pathology reports, we are still uncertain of what stage it is...possibly as low as Stage II but maybe as high as Stage IV...The one thing that he said that scares me is that Stage IV is incurable. I looked at survival rates for Stage IV and it is 15% at 5 years. I am determined to not be one of the 85%!!

On another note, we spent the weekend in SLC and took some fabulous pictures. Here are a couple from Temple Square...

Again off to the doctor...

Went to bed last night not being able to talk and got up this morning still not able to talk.  Made an appointment with Liliana who said that I had a virus. Told me to take lots of Vitamin C and Musinex...I so dislike Musinex...All it does is make me cough.

I am looking forward to my appointment on Monday in Twin Falls. I can't wait to get this thing moving and getting better.

Pearl Harbor Day

Today is Pearl Harbor day...Created this video in remembrance of all the service men and women past, present, and future.

Finally!

The Tumor Institute in Twin Falls called today and set an appointment for next Monday. Finally, we are moving forward (a little).  They will sent paperwork in the mail for me to fill out.

Had my final official visit with the surgeon today. He said that I chose the right surgery because they found 2-3 other cancer spots in the breast. Also, I was predisposed for breast cancer (HER2NU test). If you have breast cancer in your family, sister, mother, grandmother, etc., you probably should have this test. If you are not having regular mammograms, do it. I had never had one...Yes, it is painful (very), but that pain will last for less than 30 minutes vs two surgeries and treatment.

I cannot go back to work for at least another week...and that will depend on what the oncologist says now. The only thing that the surgeon will take care of now is any fluid collection or putting in a port for the chemo.

We may try to go to Utah on Saturday. It depends on the  weather and how I feel. My niece, Alyssa, is having a dance recital that she wants me to go to...don't know why because she wouldn't even speak to me when I saw her in September. I am excited to be able to photograph the Brigham City Tabernacle and Temple on the way to or from...

Worried...

Have a sore throat tonight...Started with a little feeling on Saturday and woke up this morning with a full blown sore throat. I'm worried about it because I don't know what this means as far as the next steps goes. Good thing I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow.

I hope that he has some answers for me tomorrow...If not, I will tell them to fax my records to HCI and I will make an appointment with them. We'll see....

Up all night hurting...

My arm really aches tonight. I don't know why but the bicep area and shoulder feel very swollen and are very painful to touch. Can't get comfortable in bed and so now I'm on the couch. I've taken the pain pill and it doesn't seem to be working. Guess I'll edit a few photos and post them to Facebook...

Grandkids...

Huntsman Cancer Institute?

Okay, so now I have two people telling me to go to HCI. Kathy, my Ricks College roommate, has a sister who is a radiology tech there. Mechelle, an admired and respected friend from when I worked as a custodian at Burley Jr. High, has a brother who went to Pocatello, Twin Falls, and HCI. They loved HCI. TF was okay, and they didn't like Pocatello at all.

Maybe I should go to HCI. I want the best care available but I feel like I should be home everyday so that this is not such a struggle for Holly. She would have a difficult time with work and trying to take care of Kevin and get him where he needs to go. Kevin needs me too. To top it off, Jakobi will be here during Christmas holidays and I want to see her as much as possible.

Everyone has basically said that I need to be selfish and take care of myself first and it is hard for me to do that. Others usually come first in my life.  Rarely do I do anything for myself. I just can't ignore my family needs.

Ads out to the side...

Almost forgot to mention...Those ads that you see over there will help bring in a little cash to help on this journey...They are unobtrusive and if you just right click, I believe you can open them in a new window. Whether you look at them or just close them is your choice, but I would appreciate a click or two.  Thanks!

Long Day

It is the end of a very long, and not very good day. I have been pretty much miserable since about noon...Just achy, headache, and very tired.

I did make contact with my medical doctor's office to see if test results got sent to her and not the surgeon. The nurse told me that they got some results yesterday and she would walk over to the surgeon's office and make sure they got them. Apparently they did, but not the ones that are the most important. We are still waiting on the progesterone/estrogen receptors results. They will help determine treatment.

I just hate feeling like I am at a standstill...I just want to keep moving forward, and until all the results are in, I can't. It's annoying, frustrating, depressing, etc.

If there is not an appointment scheduled with the oncologist on Tuesday when I go back to the surgeon, I will probably go to SLC to the Huntsman Cancer Center. I can't keep putting this off.

Still no answers...

Again, at the surgeon's office for follow up. Still no lab results and they tell me that they are trying to get me into the oncologist but that it is a very busy time of year and they are doing the best they can... Being a 911 dispatcher and dealing with non-life threatening calls reminds me that the emergency is seen through the eyes of the caller and not the dispatcher... Or through my eyes (the person with cancer), and not the lab people, pathologist, or the surgeon.  I WANT TO KNOW! and so does my family and loved ones.

I am so frustrated...  My good friend, Kathy, has told me to skip all this nonsense here and report in to the Huntsman Cancer Institute in Salt Lake City. My medical doctor is recommending St. Luke's cancer center in Twin Falls. Twin Falls is more convenient and I could be home every night. Huntsman is 170 miles away and I would have to stay there at least for the radiation treatments which would be an extreme hardship on my daughter and grandson. I want to go to Twin Falls, but I also want the best treatment available...